A Rude and DANGEROUS Wildlife Lesson…

Hey Rude, some animal facts you should be aware of:

gator golf
If you see THIS is on the course….TAKE THE DROP!


  1. A 14 foot alligator would weigh between 800-1000 pounds.
  1. There has never been a report of an alligator chasing a human down on open land. 
  1. Alligators are obviously at home in water that’s where they get their prey.
  1. When humans get killed by alligators in this country, it is because they are swimming in the gator’s habitat, or they are very near the shore either taunting the gator or simply not seeing it.
  1. Gators can move extremely fast for very short distances as in leaving the water to grab prey right at the water’s edge.
  1. Gators do not kill their prey by biting.  They kill the prey by drowning it.  Can you imagine how long you could hold your breath , if you are being dragged 15-20 feet underwater by something that outweighs you by 700 pounds.  With your heart racing at 180 BPM you would likely drown in less than a minute.
  1. If he has you 20 feet underwater, what the hell are your friends going to do.  a.  since it is almost assuredly fresh water it is brackish and visibility would be almost nil.  b.  With no footing or support, I’m sure they would have no problem lifting a dead weight 800 pounds up 20 feet out of the water.
  1. In other words Cellini is a goner and the best thing you can do is not get yourself killed!
Bobo may not be the toughest looking ape, but he CAN hurt you!


  1. A chimpanzee pound for pound has about twice the strength of a human.
  1. Can you imagine the strength of a 450 pound silver back male gorilla.  He could have bashed the kid’s head in, ripped it of, bitten it off (chimps go for the face and hands – not sure about gorillas), or probably ripped the kid in half at the waist.
  1. I hate the fact that they had to shoot it, but all the experts are saying the tranq gun might have made him unpredictable (he might have thought the kid caused the pain), so the really had no choice.

Gary Hosmer

Thanks Gary,

This poses an interesting question. “Would You Rather” be attacked by a Gorilla or an alligator? “Neither” is not an acceptable answer!

– Rude


Contests & Events