**Originally posted by DeeepBlue on 1/2/03** at Autigers.com
LSU fans smell just like corn dogs.
Yes, it is often said, but so, so true.
LSU fans do smell like corn dogs.
I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something better said at internet distances. Even now, I am afraid.
I am afraid that they'll know I said it. I'll walk past an LSU fan someday, and he'll see that look in my eye that gives it away. That look that says, "gee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?" The next thing you know, I'll have flat tires on my car.
If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU fans how they smell - you know, like corn dogs.
LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue.
I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, "Wow, LSU sure does have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game."
It's hard. I know. It's like when you're having sex and you try to think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming. It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: "Gee, I wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like a corn dog?"; or "Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying to make me think it is a real person?" or "What did that giant corn dog just say?" or "Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly like corn dogs smell?" or, of course, after a silencer: "Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?"
Heck, after what I've heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That's okay.
You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them. They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But don't be obvious about it. Somehow they know you're trying not to breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They'll likely punch you for that if they catch on to what you're doing.
If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it'll permeate your whole body, and then you'll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But don't say, "Dang, now I smell like a corn dog." They take offense to that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff. Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get stitches or something. Just don't say it. If you do start smelling like a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?
I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in their expression - indicating they smell corn dogs - might get a wrench or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that's dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as you drive - on some other weekend.
I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog stuff. What puzzles me most is that I've never actually seen any of these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there's no mystery there - maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows? Maybe there's a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there. Maybe, there's a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume. Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply - kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird. The big political issue during the city election is whether they should add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don't comment on it though. It's not politically correct over there. It's like a malnutrition issue or something. It's like the corn dogs are probably added to the water to prevent starvation or something.
I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you're thinking: "Ahhhh. Here I am in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I'll bet the people here smell just like boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe' or some fancy Cajun food." But just stop thinking that. That's just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.
In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn dog odor. And don't try masking the odor with something stronger. They'll curse at you. They'll say something like: "WTF, how dare you smoke a cigar in my home." or "WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of corn dogs?" and they'll cuss out your kids too: "WTF!!! Little Mister fancy pants over here acts like he doesn't want to smell like corn dogs."
Cajuns are not like us. Don't you see that, yet? They are really sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all. I know. I know. We sniff the bammers and the UGA dawgs and the Ole messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don't press your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don't refer to Death Valley as corn dog valley either. I mean that's just wrong. Even if you've been drinking, they'll beat you up and curse out your kids.
Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction - even if you're laughing about something else. Like baseball or football, or sex or whatever. If you can't control yourself and you must laugh though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their corn dog body odor from a distance or that you're choking on it or something. They'll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus building over just one snort.
So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams. You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.
Enough with this corn dog talk. Let's play ball...
Here's another thing for perry to go postal about. By fact he took the money over multiple seasons that makes gurley ineligible and if the NCAA wanted to be total pricks they could take away any of those wins during that time frame that gurley played in. Yet another reason Uga fans should shut it and move on. :-)
Sent from my iPhone
I AM A DODGERS FAN AND I WILL SAY THIS...CLAYTON KERSHAW IS A FRAUD COMPARED TO BUMGARNER. ON TWO DAYS REST, BUMGARNER IS LIGHTS OUT AND HE WAS LIGHTS OUT THROUGHOUT THE PLAYOFFS, UNLIKE KERSHAW, WHO PISSED HIS PANTS ONCE AGAIN. DODGERS FANS ALL OVER ARE IN DENIAL BUT I CAN FIX IT....SIGN JON LESTER AND TRADE FOR DAVID PRICE. MOVE KERSHAW TO NUMBER 4 And then.keep his ass off of the playoff roster.
How come NOTRE DAME DIDNT INVESTIGATE BRADY QUINN AND HIS GIRLFRIEND?
Love the show.
I'll donate $50 to #FundGurley.... Just let me know where to send it. The young man has been honest and contrite and deserves a little help on his road to redemption.
What did Gurley do with the money? Did he use the money to pay for a new speaker system or clothes? Or did he give it to his family who needed it for a serious life or death need?
The answer to this would prove or disprove Perry's comments that he was taking the money for the right reasons and it was justified.
Ps , I am a Ga alum/fan and Gurley supporter
First things first great to see Tim Hudson get a ring. Class guy.
Second the "Braves" way is living in the past. We have to rethink how things are done. We can swaddle ourselves in the warm feeling of past success and Bobby Cox and on and on. It's not about a few bad trades it's about well in the movie The Replacements Coach McGinty is asked walking into halftime what his team needed. His response? Heart miles and miles of Heart. Right now we have to crank up the defibrillator way past 300 joules to jumpstart this team.
First, congrats to UGA. They did it right in terms of handling the TG situation.
You might remind the IDIOTS saying Mark R and UGA should have "protected" TG that when Jim Tressel and Ohio State tried to protect their players for similar in 2010, all Hell broke loose.
The players were suspended for FIVE games for trading memorabilia for tats. Jim Tressel was fired. OSU wins were vacated. OSU had to pay the NCAA roughly $350,000, they lost 9 scholarships and got a one year bowl ban.
Does any Georgia fan REALLY want to risk similar? FSU is rolling the dice with Jameis. If they are wrong, well good luck with that.